Get married, dont get married. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. He goes, I want you to stand on one foot, raise the other foot No, bullshit. Were just gonna have lunch. No other animal crosses the road with this kind of fucking poise. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. I ordered the movie. I dont mean to seem ungrateful, but I got shit to do, Jeff. And these guys are laughing and dancing and drinking, and theyre having a fucking blast. Rejuvenate your vagina. 'Ron White: If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up' On Netflix: Review I was mad when I first saw it. Ron White-Radical Terrorist Canadian Geese Reaction: If You Quit [cheering and applause] Thats pretty slick. All right. This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. Im like, What do I even do? Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up | Radio Times Members can play, pause and resume watching, all without commercials or commitments.Connect with Netflix Online:Visit Netflix WEBSITE: http://nflx.it/29BcWb5Like Netflix Kids on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/NetflixFamilyLike Netflix on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/29kkAtNFollow Netflix on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/29gswqdFollow Netflix on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/29oO4UPFollow Netflix on TUMBLR: http://bit.ly/29kkemTRon White: If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up | Stand-up Special Trailer [HD] | Netflix http://youtube.com/netflix Now I live in Beverly Hills in a house my wife and I just built, and I was doing an interview the other day, and this guy asked me, Has it changed you? Two years ago, White co-starred in Cameron Crowes one-and-done season of Roadies for Showtime. White, I smell alcohol on your breath. I said, Thats been there since 77, dude. You pour that much Scotch on a tongue, its gonna smell like Scotch forever. By creating an account, you agree to the Watch Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up | Netflix Official More for how they dont have to deal with marriage. [Ron White] You ever take a crap so big your pants fit better? Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Netflix Te gust Big Jay Oakerson: DOG BELLY ?, descubre pelculas del mismo gnero y temticas, pelculas como Dave Chappelle: 8:46, Mike Epps: Indiana Mike, Kyle Kinane: Trampoline In A Ditch, Rose Matafeo: Horndog, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up,. This is drunk. Ron White: If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up - YouTube Theyre like, Ooh, look at that one. Which one? 40 years old, never been married, which makes you a little suspicious. Like, What? [bleating] I cant wait till they go hog-wild and just put a sugar lick right there in the middle of the fucking room. Lets do a couple of blocks. I can I got to get this right for the special. He was like, No, what Im saying is, if you could talk to someone, whether they Yeah, I fucking get it. Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. So Im all set up. No. Fuck it. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Coming Soon, Regal Id give you half my shit right now, but I dont make up the rules.. Leaves me shudder-crying. Sure, they bleed to death in the trash can when you throw them away, but theyre baby ducks. You and her were standing in the kitchen and looked at that lime. Is 'Are You There God? Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef [laughing] Okay. And when I was in Edinburgh, I realized that the Scots made me laugh harder than anybody. After Id been there for a little while, I found out there was one part of Hotel Street on Oahu that you go to, and these really cute girls that jump in your car and blow you for five dollars. I mean, I wet the bed all the fucking time and I just hated myself for it. Its still the number one-selling comedy album of all time, and, uh Jeff had been my friend for ten years, and suddenly, kaboom, hes the biggest comedian in the world. It was a story about a town in the Middle East where, by law by law, the women who live in this town have to wear burkas with one eyehole. Oh, you can see it in their eyehole. Streaming Schedule, Season 5, Part 2 Debut Info, 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc. All rights reserved, Stream It Or Skip It: 'John Mulaney: Baby J' On Netflix, The Stand-Up Comedian's Post-Rehab Return To Center Stage, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Alex Borstein: Corsets & Clown Suits' On Prime Video, Mrs. Maisel's Manager Takes The Stage To Sing And Sling Jokes, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Louis C.K. 'Succession' Season 4 Finale Date: When Is the Last Episode? Because the most jacked-up cooch Ive ever seen in my life is way better looking than my ball sack. And he comes up to me and goes [high-pitched] Mr. 'If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up': Ron White's Netflix special Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef taste like boo boot leather. >> julia, thank you very much for that update. But it turns out, theyre great watchdogs. So when Bill gets finished, he comes down and does a set with us and when we get done with our shows, Bill and Jeff wanna go drinking and gambling, and I want to go to a prayer meeting and a poetry reading that Id heard about. It says, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing comes on the television. And we decided on a date that we would do it, and we decided to do it from the Punchline here in Atlanta in front of a live crowd, and it was really fun. Hes still having too much fun. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. And I dont know why, cause they used to sell duck tacos, nobody gave a shit. I started this tour a while back in Las Vegas, and while I was there, I was walking down the Strip, my wife and I, and theyre having a sex toy convention, which is one of their five biggest conventions of the year. They all look like fucking tents. And Ill tell you why I didnt have a problem with it, cause I thought the number of people beating off to my image was zero. 0:46. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Powered by Reelgood Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from. Legendary comedian and podcaster Marc Maron stars in his first-ever HBO comedy special filmed in front of a live audience at New York Citys Town Hall. Youre still going to hop in that motherfucker. Besides, if youre at that point in a make-out session, youre gonna do it anyway. Im not, and Ill tell you why. One [giggling] ..fucking eyehole. Well, Bills doing one show at the big Forum down at Caesars, and were doing three shows a night in a smaller room. Not plump girls, not fat girls. 7,786, This story has been shared 5,838 times. 1,216, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window), Does 'Yellowstone' Return Tonight? One anything has the potential to become a DUI checkpoint if you crash your car into it. Thats his deal. She was beautiful. This befuddled me. His answers are crass. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Netflix Downloads only available on ad-free plans. I have no idea what Id do if I walked out and somebody was there, Id be like [yawning] [click] Oh, hey. And then I was watching Godfather, I thought, Well, if instead of that horse head, they just had Chris Hemsworth with no shirt on. Im in the road! Does a Z-pattern to get across. .08 is a revenue stream for the federal fucking government, is what .08 is. Im going to open a chain of restaurants that only sells baby goose pussy lip tacos. Its a dating website and I actually saw another dating website that made me think of mine. We walk up to this booth that only sells dildos. Squirrels. Im also an idea man. I ran, um I ran for president of the United States, and I dont think I won, because nobodys called and I quit watching television. All rights reserved. I gotta go. Im coming back twice a day every fucking day. And he said that the Golden Corrals the best place to find these people cause he says thats where the really big girls like to winter. An action packed stay in rehab. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - IMDb Maybe a salad and a sandwich. Is that Glen Campbell or Nick Nolte? His jokes are cynical, full of satire and sarcasm and that's what makes it good. No, you fucking didnt. And I was there with a woman I couldnt stand eventually. 'Citadel' Episode Guide: When Do New Episodes Premiere on Prime Video? Moxy and her colorful friends leave Uglyville on a quest to find a kid to love. [whispering] Charming. our special coverage of the white house correspondents dinner starts right now neck . Bain de Soleil sunless tanning lotion for dark skin only, and apparently I was getting down, cause it was on my nipples and the inside of my thigh. Let me show you some skills. Now, I wont drive drunk, but I will ride with somebody that cant blow a .08 and not fucking know it. I never got over it. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Teaser), Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Trailer). These are two broke fucking fingers. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Netflix Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter You know why? You can get married now if youre gay, anywhere in America, thats fine with me. My fucking life is over. Whats she doing to Wilson? Thats all a cat has to do, is just, Pow! Theres so many dead cats on my street, it looks carpeted. You guys are amazing. Ill get some money. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Ron White: If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up | Stand-up Special Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.4M subscribers 118K views 4 years ago Fully-functioning organs are not necessary. So unhappy, theyre willing to bleach it until it becomes a more desirable color. Sure, Larry the Cable Guy is the definitive character act in the group headed by Jeff Foxworthy with Bill Engvall. Thanks for playing our game. Do I leave? Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. No. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. You gotta kill the duck to get the duck meat. So I did my set, and Im out in the hallway talking to Joe Rogan and this guy comes up to me, in his early 30s, I would guess, very flamboyant, very nervous. A tongue is a tongue, and a tooth is a fucking tooth. What Time Does 'Yellowjackets' Season 2, Episode 6 Air On Showtime? Best deal Ive ever heard of in my life to this day. White I was always going to tell you if I ever met you that when my father was alive, you were his favorite comedian by far. I said, Thank you very much for telling me that, man. 6:01, gets there. Tiger doesnt get any credit for all that pussy he turned down, and thats the number youre looking for right there. Im better at oral sex than Ive ever been and I think its just because Im older and Im just more patient than I was when I was young, because cause now Ill lay there for hours and let you do your thing. The newest one thats not very new, but its the newest one. One of these treatments is a thing called anal bleaching. [sobbing] I had nightmares about it my entire goddamn childhood. Ill walk back. This happened last Wednesday at The Comedy Store in LA. How much is the personal massager shaped like a big black cock? I didnt make the drinks. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef taste like boot leather. Thats why. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Ron White - You can`t fix stupid - video Dailymotion I saw this on the news the other day. Thanks for playing along. And nobody wants our shit anymore. Im going to do it, cause Im surprised they know it, but I support the Montreal Comedy Festival, and if you ever have a chance to go to Montreal in the summer to go to the festival, its the coolest fucking thing there is. You know what a fair drunk driving test is? and the Well, that same year my dear friend Bill Engvall, the dancer People ask me all the time, Do you think youll ever do Dancing With The Stars? Im like, Not unless something goes horribly fucking wrong., Well, that year, Bill was touring with Reba McEntire. Baby goose pussy [tripping over his tongue] makes wagyu beef taste like boot leath boot All right, Im gonna rewrite this sentence. Whats he doing? Thats why. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up. And I wear wild socks, and So Im having breakfast in this restaurant across the street from the hotel Im staying in, by myself, and I finish with my meal, I realize I dont have any money. Just lunch. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up And I did these shows in London, and they dont play my stuff on television in London. Steals my sandwich. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up subtitles Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. In this hour, White regales his audience with anecdotes about a young fan approaching him at The Comedy Store in Los Angeles, about how he lost his virginity at 18 over and over again to prostitutes, his offbeat presidential ambitions, and even how he tried to overcome his anxiety with bedwetting as a child. Big Jay Oakerson: DOG BELLY : otras recomendaciones - Pgina 10 I wish you would have told us that up front. I was the feature act at the Punchline Comedy Club in Sacramento, California. Its a nickel for a hundred of em. Im like, Really? I couldnt fucking breathe. Nobody wants to be a white asshole, but everybody wants to have one all of a sudden. What? Nobodys moving till we get across this street. They could have flown over the fucking street. But why settle for fictional tall tales when you can sit back and enjoy Whites actual road stories. Im in my car, all intimidated. Because this dick wont suck itself. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Youre just spreading your ass cheeks, squatting into a tray of solution for a limited amount of time for a desired result. I go, I know its our first night in town but Im gonna go drinking with the boys, and she goes, [slurring] Fine, just leave me in a hotel room by myself? Im like, Youre starting to get it.. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. It was juvenated, it became un-juvenated, it needs to be rejuvenated. We dont even want it. Im not gay, but I have these moments. And Im driving, and I look ahead, and theres a sobriety checkpoint and Im like Fuck Which is what you say when you see a sobriety checkpoint. I just grabbed my big black dick and left. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Over 15 million albums, not including the millions and millions of Blue Collar albums you guys bought. Sorry. And the guys over there still think theyre hot. And it really reminded Jeff and I of how much fun we have on stage together and how much we like to play off each other. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. It was so fucking funny. Because they rarely fucking die. Well, whatever it is, I wouldnt worry about it if I were you. So we walk up to Knob Cobblers, or whatever the fuck the name of it was. Terms and Policies [cheering] So I decide, Well, Ill just do it myself, so I rummage around in the dark, find some lotion, cut to the next morning. Thats all. Im fucking over it. So I decided to spend the night at Joe Paines house, who had been my friend since I was six years old. Ahh! Im ready. I wake up the next morning with this shit hangover, and shes already making coffee, and I wake up and she goes, Whats wrong with your hand? My hand is dark orange. 1,410, This story has been shared 1,216 times. And he had bunk beds in his room, and Joe Paines on the top bed, Danny Davis is on the lower bed, and Im on a sleeping bag on the floor, and I wet the fucking bed, and Im, like, mortified. So Thats it. I think it brings out the flavor. But let me tell you something, folks. 1:03:21. The money sadly aint much better for aspiring stand-ups in 2018 than it was some two or three decades earlier for White. Youre just fucking just Some red lipstick on that nose, this would be hot as fuck. Im not gay. 'Succession' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: "Living+", 'Succession': Tom and Shiv's "Bitey" Game is the Horniest, Most Effed Up Thing Theyve Done Yet. Cause there aint no goddamn women there. And then the whole experience just started to creep me the fuck out. Well, I would marry ya, but I cant! The shit that should have never got said got said, it just spun into this big shit storm of fuck. Anyway I was a bed-wetter, and I was mortified by it. And The Comedy Store in LA is a really pretty big place. And the way he found out he didnt wet the bed, is he lived in Round Rock, Texas, and I hadnt really seen him in years, and I was doing this radio station and I told that story, and he called the radio station, You fucking pissed on me? Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. And I am an idea man, too. Coming Soon. Back then, having their names on Vegas marquees was living the dream. Fuck, dude. And thats about a 45-second task with me at 18 years old. Not the good frozen pizza, the other fucking frozen fucking pizza, and go back to the shitty little motel they rent us, and one night a week, Id let myself rent a porno movie, and Id call this date night. And just set it and forget it and fucking shut it down. The one I saw was called, Its Just Lunch, and what they do is they just hook people up, and they have lunch, broad daylight, right in the middle of the day. She goes, Look, its just on the wrong channel. Click. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up subtitles | 27 subtitles Im a 61-year-old raging alcoholic, motherfucker. Or thats what it said in the deposition. Cats die when they touch the road. Theyre not. Watch Ron White: If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up on Netflix, This story has been shared 41,150 times. Dont wake White up just yet. My uncle was a Baptist preacher, and I was at his little white clapboard Baptist church in a little bitty town in Texas and I was sitting Vacation bible school. Dont worry about them. Its for sale. Well, youre gifted. And I told this young guy, I said, Yeah, if I were you, Id go to a gay bar, let somebody fuck me in the ass and make goddamn sure Im not gay, cause it looks like theyre having more fun than anybody to me., It does too, cause we live right next to West Hollywood. Thats what happened to that plane Sully landed on the Hudson River. I think if it didnt keep my wife awake, I wouldnt know I had it. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - netflix.com It was about three years ago, and there were six comics in an open forum, telling stories, and this is the story that I told. 13,103, This story has been shared 7,786 times. I do it all the time. This is what this DJ says to me: Ron Every time a celebrity calls our station, we always ask the same question: If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be? And I said Living. And he tried to explain it to me. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Im a joke writer from America. 3,036, This story has been shared 2,003 times. Ron White..Spa Day..If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut up..Reaction!! Stream It Or Skip It: 'Tom Jones' On PBS, A Romance-Focused Adaptation Of Henry Fielding's Novel, Stream It or Skip It: 'Spring Breakthrough' on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries Proves We Need More Keesha Sharp, Stream It or Skip It: 'Hearts in the Game' on Hallmark Just Might Be the Network's Movie of the Year. No sabemos si las ancdotas son ciertas o es todo parte de la rutina, pero sea como fuere, la balanza se inclina 3 a 0 a favor, razn por la cual tens que ver este especial ;)Hasta el prximo episodio Gracias por ver! I could not possibly care any less. Vaginal rejuvenation. No, this has to fucking happen. Where is Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up streaming? Geese arent natural. I dont have another eight goddamn dollars. And I called the front desk in a panic. Radical terrorist Canadian geese! Watch Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up | Netflix Official Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. the press, a -- top -- as well as the family of evan gershkovich which -- while it is a star studded, lighthearted evening, there is that backdrop of serious issues going on. Verified reviews are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 Directed by Tom Forrest Synopsis Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Well, Ive been here, but Ive never been here, and if I only Dead. Three weeks ago, my wife and I went to New York City, and we went to a gay wedding, and it was a man marrying a woman, [laughing] but it was the gayest fucking thing Ive ever seen. And if youre looking for a bicycle, its a great deal. Looked like somebody had stretched a rubber band over a gigantic hall of fucking Let me try that again. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Always has been. Fuck no, you have not. Britain's most talented young bakers wow judges with cakes, biscuits, breads and more in this kid-focused spinoff of "The Great British Baking Show.". Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity rating: 12 | 1h 3m | Stand-up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Thats all Im saying. Starring:Ron White Watch all you want. A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. Thats all they sell. Yeah! Montreals a gorgeous city, and the festivals are done in 20 venues all over the town, beautiful thing. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and It's Me, Margaret. I walk out there and get shot, her and them dogs leave out the back door, hop in the Mercedes, live the life of Riley, while I bleed to death on that fucking rug she had to have. If you dont know what they look like, it looks like a pug was raped by a fruit bat. 2023 White House Correspondents' Dinner : MSNBCW : April 29, 2023 5 You got to unwrap a few to get the one youre looking for in a sight unseen situation. [whispering] Did you? Do you think I fucking heard it? Thats something we dreamed about and it fucking happened. And not the fuzzy sweater, lovable slurring kind of drunk uncle, either. I dont need this shit. Somebody asked me to do this story. I dont sleep very well. But for our purposes, as well as the inner workings of how show business actually still works or doesnt pay off for most comedians, the most telling part comes when White talks money. Thats what I do. Netflix uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. What they do is they take these baby ducks, and they just snip the pussy lips off of em, and it takes, like, 35 baby ducks to make one taco, but it is fucking worth it, man. It follows Bert Kreischer as he spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids and the end to his familys escape room outing. And as you approach these toilets, the lid of the toilet automatically opens. But oddly enough, I do have a suggestion for this. [snorting] I dont, really Ive got tons of gay friends, most of em male dancers from fucking Vegas, and theyre like, We want to get married too. Im like, Youre going to fucking hate it, but, I think the Supreme Court fucked up the best thing about being gay. Nonbinary 'Yellowjackets' Star Liv Hewson Is Sitting out of Emmy Season Over Gendered Categories, 'Yellowjackets' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Digging the Antler Queen, Drew Barrymore Admits She's "Not Sure" She's "Drawn to the Manscaper" on 'The Drew Barrymore Show': "I Love Funk", Drew Barrymore Opens up About Up Close and Personal Interview Style: "I Feel This Magnetic Pull", Why Isn't 'The Drew Barrymore Show' on Today? Members can watch as much as they want, anytime, anywhere, on any internet-connected screen. And I wet the bed! And Im like, Me too! And I never told him.

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